MY WEDDING DAY

My wedding day… Definitely in the top 5 most magical days of my life. I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that the next time that many of my closest friends and relatives would gather would be at my funeral. For me, that wedding was it. I would only get one. I savored every minute. I was not willing to let anything cast a shadow over that day so I lied. Just a little. I grew up in a culture that had expectations like all cultures do. Some of those expectations I didn’t agree with and had no intention of living up to. I was taught to stand up for what I believed even if I stood alone. There were occasions when I did and I learned firsthand about the high price of standing up to the culture itself. And so I stood before God and witnesses and recited the expected set of vows instead of the ones I would have chosen to make. I knew it. God knew it. But anything else would have caused major upheaval in my world. Not necessarily outwardly, but in the disappointment of people I loved and a lot of judgment by people whose approval wasn’t worth wanting, but I wanted it anyway. It is ironic that people will subvert conscience to appease religion but it happens all the time. I was reminded this week as I read an excerpt written by a friend in a book on the subject of challenging some of the things that are wrong in a religious culture that is known to shun those who voice dissent. That kind of pressure breeds a silence that allows abuse to flourish. My pastor friend had this to say, “For many years, I frustratingly looked at this great movement of ours and saw several elephants in the room. What could I do about the elephants? Nothing of course, because to even share a concern would be deemed disloyal and could be grounds for excommunication from a movement that has Independent in its name.” Ironic indeed. If your Christianity encourages compliance and conformity through a culture that judges, shames, or shuns dissent, you are in a high demand religion. Dump it. Love God. Love people.