Contemplative Silent Prayer

In recent years, I've learned that I am not alone in my anxiety over group prayer. Many people are very slow to lead in prayer because it is a form of public speaking. Others, like me, have childhood experiences that have left them with major anxiety issues when it is time to pray. I don't have a fear of public speaking, and in my line of work, I do have to lead in large group prayer routinely. It isn't my favorite thing, but I do it without issue. For me, small group, take-your-turn style prayer will cause a full-blown anxiety attack every single time. For 20 years, I completely avoided all prayer meetings for this reason.

My childhood experience in weekly prayer meetings where I felt incredible pressure to say all the right things at exactly the right time really messed me up. Even in my personal prayer life, I would put pressure on myself and inevitably feel like a failure. I know people who can really pray and I never felt like I could measure up. I am absolutely no good at prolonged, extemporaneous prayer - silent or otherwise. I’ve read books and tried methods that have worked for others in discovering a personal prayer language that might facilitate extemporaneous prayer. I’ve sought and sought and sought God for a gifting - any gifting in the area of prayer.

And God eventually answered but not in the way I expected. Four years ago, I discovered contemplative silent prayer. It has become a huge key for me in communing with God and it is something I enjoy rather than dread. In all the teaching I’ve heard on prayer, somehow, I completely missed this form and I suspect it is because it is often overlooked. It honestly never occurred to me to teach it to children as this mom is doing.

This line from her post really resonated with me:

“Contemplative prayer has rescued me from years of anxious, uncertain, and insecure prayers. While it hasn’t been easy to learn how to sit in silence before God, it has since become a spiritual lifeline each day where I am able to rest fully in God without placing expectations on myself to produce a particular spiritual outcome.”

I am not endorsing the book she mentions because I haven’t read it but I plan to. If you struggle in finding the words to pray, you might find the wordless variety works for you as well. This link has some great thoughts on the value of contemplative prayer and on leading kids in this practice.

Cindy Brandt's blog on contemplative prayer and kids

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.